Q: Are you guys part of ________?
A: Nope.

Q: What’s your position on ___________?
A: If you’re asking about something that isn’t gun related, we have no position. We’re a gun group. We do guns. We don’t do _______ or whatever other issue you’re asking about.

Q: Why did you endorse _______? He’s terrible on __________.
A: If he’s good on guns, that all we care about.

Q: Why didn’t you endorse _______? He’s great on __________.
A: If he’s bad on guns, that all we care about.

Q: Are you available for media interviews?
A: Riiiiight… Do we look like we want the Katie Couric treatment? If you want a quote, read the posts like everyone else.

Q: But you don’t understand: I have a deadline and I need a quote!
A: That sounds like a “you problem”. So now let us ask you a question: Do they teach this “Make the mark feel a sense of urgency” trick in journalism school?

Q: Do you sell guns?
A: Nope.

Q: Do you sell ammo?
A: Nope.

Q: Do you sell accessories?
A: Nope.

Q: Do you sell anything?!?
A: Nope.

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